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Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier (Part 1)
/in Sharpening Your Personal Leadership Skills/by Tom Doescher——
Tom Doescher
Most people I know want to “be happy.” The book’s authors offer some surprising advice that’s based on their extensive research, which is supported by neuroscience. Based on their findings, I’ve decided to write five blogs to cover this groundbreaking book and podcast. The following are a few of my initial takeaways:
1. Happiness isn’t the goal, and unhappiness isn’t the enemy. That’s because happiness isn’t a destination. Happiness is a direction.
2. Brooks and Winfrey quote Viktor Frankl’s famous book, “Man’s Search for Meaning”: “The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity, even under the most difficult circumstances, to add a deeper meaning to his life.”
3. Happiness is a combination of enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose.
4. The truth is, however, that feelings associated with happiness and unhappiness can coexist.
In 1988, psychologists at Southern Methodist University and the University of Minnesota developed the Positive and Negative Affect Schedule (PANAS) to measure the intensity and frequency of positive and negative affect. It indicates whether you tend to experience higher or lower positive and negative emotional states than average. Brooks provides a 20-question PANAS assessment in the book.
The assessment results label your PANAS style as follows:
High Positive Affect, Low Negative Affect — Cheerleader
High Positive Affect, High Negative Affect — Mad Scientist
Low Positive Affect, High Negative Affect — Poet
Low Positive Affect, Low Negative Affect — Judge
Cheerleaders celebrate the good in everything and don’t dwell on the bad, while Poets have trouble enjoying good things and always know when there’s a threat lurking. If we were all Cheerleaders, we would keep making the same mistakes. Poets are valuable for their perspective and creativity. Life is more interesting with Mad Scientists in the mix, and Judges keep us all from blowing ourselves up with impulsive ideas.
I know what you’re saying: “Come on, another assessment?” But remember where Brooks and Winfrey are coming from. They want you to build the life you want — and maybe the company you want, too. I believe this book is an important building block.
Excellence Wins
/in Extraordinary Customer/Client Service/by Tom DoescherTom Doescher
In his 2019 book, “Excellence Wins,” the co-founder and president of the Ritz-Carleton Hotel Co., Horst Schulze, takes you behind the curtain and explains the unique culture that he and his team put in place. Although it deals with a hotel, I believe his principles could be applied to any business that truly puts the customer/client/guest/patient first. In my opinion, most companies say they put the customer first, but fall significantly short of that goal.
I would highly recommend reading “Excellence Wins.” It’s an easy, entertaining, and quick read, with lots of meat. To whet your appetite, I’ll highlight just a few of my favorite takeaways:
♦ Customers want three main things: 1) They want a product or service with no defects; 2) They want timeliness; 3) They want the person with whom they’re dealing to be nice to them. (Editorial comment: I know this list sounds too simple, but as I reflect back at my own disappointments dealing with so many different companies, most of my complaints fall into these categories. I’ve written about leaving a doctor that I loved because of all three of the above items.)
♦ Customer service isn’t just for those who face the public. It also extends to people inside the organization who deal with each other.
♦ “That’s not my job.” (Editorial comment: This is one of my top complaints. I really don’t care whose fault it is; I just want my computer back. Blaming someone else in your company looks really bad!)
♦ Four Supreme Objectives: 1) Keep the customer; 2) Get new customers; 3) Encourage the customers to spend as much as possible — but without sabotaging Objective No. 1; 4) In all of the above, keep working toward more and more efficiency. (Editorial comment: Many companies that I work with offer additional services because, over the years, customers said they would appreciate that additional product or service. So when you’re serving customers, offering them additional products/services is what they want. Just don’t hard-sell them.)
♦ This is one of Schulze’s best tips: Two percent of customers simply cannot be pleased. They’re irrational. They want things they can’t afford, or they want things that will irritate the 98 percent. He calls this “the jerk factor” and provides some really entertaining methods of “firing” the jerks. (Editorial comment: Most companies could benefit from following Schulze’s lead with jerks.)
The book is filled with very practical, implementable, relevant ideas that would apply to most companies.
I’ll close with one of my favorites: One aspect of the Ritz’s service that’s received a lot of coverage is the fact that the Ritz empowers its employees to spend up to $2,000 to solve guest problems without requiring their manager’s approval. (Editorial comment: Schulze provides some amazing stories and also notes that employees don’t abuse the policy. There’s probably a bottleneck in your company and, if front-line employees were given more authority, it could be eliminated.)
Please get the book and enjoy reading it. Set a goal of implementing at least one new idea in your business.
Are You Willing to Seek Advice?
/in Sharpening Your Personal Leadership Skills/by Tom DoescherTom Doescher
In the Doescher Advisors Executive Health Checkup, the third category is Emotional Health. When I perform a self-assessment or even ask my partner, Barbara, what area she believes needs some work, we agree it’s Emotional Health. I’ve been a chronic worrier most of my adult life. A more popular word today is “anxiety.” Actually, during Covid I self-diagnosed myself with cognitive distortions.
I was telling one of my old Plante Moran partners about it and shared that I even worry about clients’ problems. To which he said, “That’s why they love you so much.” Well, this may be good for business, but it’s not so good for my personal emotional health.
For all of the other five categories in the Executive Health Checkup, I have others who are helping me — like mentors or my physical trainer. But I didn’t have anyone helping me with my excessive worrying. As often happens in my life, several dots were in the process of connecting. Since Barbara and I had relocated to the Flint area, we didn’t have a good therapist to recommend to our clients. With the help of our longtime counselor, who’s now a professor of family counseling at Liberty University, we’ve identified a solution: Sycamore Counseling in Livonia. In fact, we’ve already referred several clients.
One day it dawned on me that maybe I should engage someone to help me with my cognitive distortions — worry, anxiety, or whatever. I was assigned to Zhela, and I asked Barbara to join our sessions. Those of you who are married realize that your partner is usually the person most impacted by your issues.
I’m really glad I took the step to seek help. Zhela has diagnosed me with ANTS, which is automatic negative thoughts syndrome. She has helped me understand my condition with advice, articles, and podcasts, and she’s also provided me with three anxiety-release exercises.
It’s a little too early to declare victory, but just being able to define the problem and having someone to talk to has been helpful.
All of this is to say that, if you’re suffering in some way, especially post-Covid, I would strongly encourage you to seek professional help. As always, I would be honored to speak with you and share more details about my situation.
p.s. Maybe when you perform an Executive Health Checkup self-assessment, you score low in another category, like financial health. In that case, please reach out to a wealth management financial advisor to help you establish a plan to recover.