The Advisor’s Corner

Some Very Important (Overlooked) Topics

August 23, 2021/in Ideas to help you build a solid team/by Tom Doescher

Recently I was working with a client and going through my book, Reboot Your Mind for a Healthier Workplace, when I realized there are two very important subjects that I didn’t address: Grieving and Sarcasm. I plan to add them to the next version of Reboot, but in the meantime, here are some thoughts:

GRIEVING: In 2009, Barbara and I spent the better part of a weekend with our counselor, Lisa. We were struggling big time with one of our children, and Lisa suggested we schedule an extended time together. During our sessions, Lisa, who’s an associate professor with the Center for Counselor Education & Family Studies at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia, asked a lot of hard questions.

In addition to helping us deal with our “challenged” child, she dug into some things that had been impacting my life more than I realized. At that point in time, I was within two years of my mandatory retirement from my 40-year career at Plante Moran, my dad had undergone a medical procedure that caused a personality change, and my body had broken down. (As Uncle Dan likes to say, “Are you really surprised? You’ve abused your body for years through high school and freshman college football; wrestling; aggressive water-skiing; competitive tennis, often five times per week; running 25-30 miles per week; and alpine skiing on most of the double-black-diamond runs in North America.”)

Barbara had her own areas of concern, and Lisa ended up diagnosing us both with multiple grieving issues. At that time, I knew very little about grief and grieving. So, in typical Tom Doescher fashion, I began a study. For men, the symptoms of grieving are anger, irritability, withdrawal, rumination, and substance abuse. The experts offer the following advice to men:

1) Give yourself time to grieve.

2) Watch out for harmful behaviors.

3) Call your man friends.

4) Know when to seek help.

They offer these tips for helping the grieving person:

1) Be there.

2) Listen.

3) Allow him to experience his grief his way.

I’m guessing many of these suggestions would apply to women, as well.

I admit I’m way out of my area of expertise here. However, in my opinion — and especially with the impact of COVID over the past 15 months — there are team members who are suffering. As a leader, I would strongly suggest you be on the lookout for anyone who is struggling, and encourage them to get help like I did. Barbara and I have several counselors that we recommend to clients.

SARCASM: I can still hear Frank Moran’s voice as he told us, “Sarcasm is the language of the devil.” At the time, I didn’t realize he was quoting another philosopher, Thomas Carlyle, who died in 1881.

Having spent many years in locker rooms, I’ve experienced some pretty awful sarcasm. I think my readers know exactly what I’m talking about, especially the men (although women can dish out sarcasm, too). So often, the sarcastic messenger would say they were just kidding. In my humble opinion, rather than being funny, their words destroy the environment around them. If it’s used in the workplace, sarcasm is toxic, unacceptable, and creates unnecessary and long-lasting scars.

I’m not going to waste your time with a lot of words. Suffice it to say, the best workplaces forbid the use of sarcasm, and if someone slips — like we all do, from time to time — they police it immediately.

p.s. On a side note, there were some team members at Plante Moran who possessed an incredible gift of humor. My mentor, Ken Kunkel, was one of them. He used humor very effectively when we were dealing with what appeared to be a hopeless situation. Ken’s strong advice was to never use another person as the target of your humor. Instead, he encouraged making fun of yourself, and he modeled it very effectively for us.

The Power of Habit

August 9, 2021/in Nuggets and Encouragement Regarding Strategy and Focus/by Tom Doescher

In my October 22, 2013, blog, Is the Problem Time Management or Sticking to Your Priorities, I make a case for the latter. I still believe that’s true, but I’d like to expand upon that post. Here are my main takeaways:

As I’ve reported about other positions/philosophies, Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, bases his conclusions on brain research. (If you’re interested, I’d suggest reading his book.)
According to Duhigg, a habit is a three-step loop. First, there’s a “cue,” a trigger that tells your brain to go into automatic mode and which habit to use. Then there’s the “routine,” which can be physical, mental, or emotional. Finally, there’s a “reward,” which helps your brain figure out if this particular loop is worth remembering for the future.
Over time, this loop — cue, routine, reward; cue, routine, reward — becomes more and more automatic.
Problem (the “bad news”): The brain can’t tell the difference between good and bad habits.
There are some fascinating stories, including how Unilever utilized the three-step loop for Pepsodent and P&G used it for Febreze, and made billions.
Habits create neurological “cravings.” Most of the time, these cravings emerge so gradually that we’re not aware they exist, so we’re often blind to their influence.
For example, the chime on a computer or the vibration of a smartphone is a cue that causes us to look at our computer or phone, as we anticipate the message. Can you relate? I’ve turned off all cues on my Surface Pro, and my Apple only vibrates for calls and texts.
Most people hate to exercise, and for sure hate to run. As a seasoned executive, I actually love to run; my current routine is to run a 10K four times per week. I was running a 10K daily, but my running adviser recommended the University of Oregon Hard/Easy System, so I backed off. Question: What am I trying to prove? Answer: Nothing. But I do crave the endorphins that are released into my body when I run. I can’t get enough.
I step on a scale to weigh myself every day. I always thought this was a carryover from my high school wrestling days. I crave getting a good result. It’s my reward for proper diet and exercise.
Most successful executives maintain some type of “to-do” follow-up list. My mentor for over 50 years taught me to keep a to-do list by modeling it for me. At 88, he still maintains several to-do lists.
Now I’m going to undress. I’ve always loved crossing off finished items on my to-do lists. I bet that action releases some type of hormone or brain response that I crave.
Although I’ve been a fan of Tony Dungy for years and I’ve read all of his books, I wasn’t aware that he used “habits” as a basis for his very successful coaching methodology.
The final principle that Duhigg offers is community, and he uses Alcoholics Anonymous as a powerful example of developing good habits supported by a community.

Conclusion: If you desire to establish a good habit, like encouraging your spouse or your business associates, or to change a bad habit, like speaking before you think, I would highly recommend reading The Power of Habit.

The Execution Culture

July 19, 2021/in Nuggets and Encouragement Regarding Strategy and Focus/by Tom Doescher

As we learned in The 4 Disciplines of Execution, by Chris McChesney, Sean Covey, and Jim Huling, much time is focused on strategy and very little on execution. According to Christopher Elias and Mark Freier, authors of The Execution Culture, a successful plan is 5 percent ideas and 95 percent execution. Although I have commented before on many of the subjects covered in the book, the authors weave together culture and execution in a unique way. I debated blogging about their book but finally concluded that, at worst, it’s a fantastic refresher of “must-do” concepts. I’ll list my favorite takeaways and you can use them as a post-COVID (get back on track) checklist to see how your company is doing:

They remind us of the difference between leadership and management (or supervision). Both are important, so know what you are or are not. For example, I’m not a very good manager/supervisor. Fortunately, in my first career the partners and staff I worked with required very little — but if I was a manufacturing plant supervisor, I would have struggled.
Leaders need to be courageous. Many leaders “who are willing to fire when necessary” won’t. The authors go on to ask: If there’s a person who’s toxic to the company, are we truly willing to confront them and potentially terminate them?
According to the authors, most companies have terrible hiring practices. I like the way they summarize the best candidates: They have great relationship “fit”; personality “fit”; and cognitive “fit.” I agree that the best word to guide new associate selection is “fit.” So, as the old saying goes, “Hire slow and fire fast!”
As you look at your day, week, month, quarter, year, or life, ask this question: If I could only do one to three things, what would take me further than anything else toward reaching my goals? I’ve mentioned my mentor, Ken Kunkel, before as it relates to priorities. He always seemed to have an uncanny knack for doing the right things (most important) at the right time, no matter how long his to-do list was.
Put the customer first. Honestly, how often, as a customer, do you feel like you come first? It’s not that complicated. The crazy-successful fast food joint, Chick-fil-A, follows the Core Four of Relational Leadership: 1) make eye contact; 2) smile; 3) speak enthusiastically; and 4) stay connected. It seems simple, but how often is that your experience?
As a leader, are you willing to be vulnerable? Again, the authors would say that vulnerability is the greatest measure of strength. It’s a willingness to be wrong or be seen as imperfect, to ask questions, and to admit, “I don’t know!”
Most research and studies show that successful people are people who choose to be positive.
Great leaders have the courage to stay focused on an unwavering path, despite naysayers (within the company) or what the competition is doing. I cannot believe how often people ask about the competition. The concept of using a Blue Ocean strategy and Yellow Tail wine proved that was a mistake.
As a leader, you must become laser-focused on holding people accountable to the right priorities that will yield the right results.
The top six “soft” skills needed to be an effective leader are: Fearlessness, Proactiveness, Engagement, Knowing When to Lead, Knowing When to Manage, and Flexibility.

Hopefully, you identified one area for you to focus on this year.

Although there was no new aha moment for me in this book, I think it’s a good checkup tool and maybe will provide you with some topics for future leadership meetings.

Some Very Important (Overlooked) Topics

The Power of Habit

The Execution Culture

Contact

Explore

SUBSCRIBE