The Advisor’s Corner

Are You a DIY Person, or Do You Get Help?

February 28, 2022/in Nuggets and Encouragement Regarding Strategy and Focus/by Tom Doescher

Tom Doescher

I’ve been blessed with a number of great role models, including Frank Moran and Ken Kunkel. They taught me, with words and by example, that you can accomplish substantially more by recruiting high-quality people to join you. Recently, I read Who Not How, a refreshing book written by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy that describes Sullivan’s successful executive coaching philosophy. If you seek to build a successful business, reduce your stress levels, and leave a legacy, it’s worth taking the time to read it.

Here are selected takeaways from the end of each chapter:

There are countless brilliant and capable “Whos” out there waiting and wanting to help you. They need to hear and understand your vision.
A good “Who” can immediately free up hundreds of hours, which you can then spend in more meaningful ways.
Your potential is virtually limitless when you stop asking “How?” and start asking “Who?”
You can free up thousands of future hours by finding capable “Whos.”
By freeing up your time, you get the invaluable benefit of freeing up your mind, so you can focus on higher-impact activities such as strategizing or creating.
Leaders should be committed to results, not to a particular process.
Rather than micromanaging the process, leadership should provide freedom and autonomy, as well as extreme clarity and high standards of excellence.
Doing all of the “Hows” yourself may sound noble, but it’s a limiting belief.
Trying to avoid costs by engaging in “Hows” will cost you and your future huge in the long run.
Always ask “What’s in it for them?” rather than “What’s in it for me?”
Know what the other person cares about.
Be a generous giver who’s truly committed to service and growth, not status.
Be nice to the people you meet on the way up, because they’re the same people you meet on the way down.
Be grateful in large and small ways to the people in your life and you’ll attract incredible abundance.
As you say no to people and opportunities that don’t align with the vision of your future self, your confidence will increase. Your team will also become more confident in you as a leader.
You don’t have all the answers. It’s wise to consider yourself ignorant on most things, and to seek other people’s perspectives and solutions.
Focusing on “How” stresses you out because you’re already busy and can’t juggle it all.

If you’re the type of person who believes only you can perform certain activities, this book is a must-read.

As I reflect upon the past, to the extent I’ve had any successes, it has always been as a result of the “Whos” in my life.

The Generosity Habit

February 7, 2022/in Nuggets and Encouragement Regarding Strategy and Focus/by Tom Doescher

Tom Doescher

I read Matthew Kelly’s book, The Generosity Habit, during the Christmas season, but I believe it applies to our lives 365 days a year. As I read and reflected upon Kelly’s comments about generosity it occurred to me that, in a way, generosity is counterintuitive. With so many people all over the world hurting today, there’s no shortage of needs — and Kelly does a wonderful job of pointing out that you don’t have to be Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk to be generous. In fact, most of his book shares 101 creative ways to be generous. To tee up the subject, he provides some interesting points of view, including:

Generosity is contagious. When one person acts generously, it inspires both the recipients and observers of the generosity to be generous toward others.
People who are living life to the fullest always believe two things: 1) The future can be better than the past; 2) They can do something today to bring about that better future.
One of the most interesting things about generosity is that the need to give is generally greater than other peoples’ need to receive. Wow!
Based upon hundreds of scientific studies, Kelly provides 16 ways generosity is good for you, including improved health, improved mood, longer life, a sense of gratitude, and contentment.
Generosity feels good. It does! Scientists have discovered that one of the reasons for that is because when you’re generous, your body releases oxytocin — one of the four “Happy Hormones” — into your bloodstream. Oxytocin is also released during childbirth, sex, breastfeeding, exercise, and hugging. It induces feelings of warmth, euphoria, and connection with others. (Editorial comment: Please don’t be generous just to obtain more oxytocin. Obviously, that defeats the whole idea of generosity.)

To whet your appetite, here are a few of Kelly’s 101 ideas:

Call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while.
Catch someone doing something right.
Tip generously. (Editorial comment: This is an especially good idea today as, due to the shortage of workers, those whom are working are carrying a heavy load. BTW, 20 percent is OK, but I know someone who tips up to 50 percent.)
Go out of your way to buy something from a small business.
Give blood. (Editorial comment: This one is tough for me. Depending on how skilled the person drawing the blood is, I’ve passed out more than once and caused a scene.)
Be aware of when someone else is in a hurry, and help them get to where they’re going a little faster. (Editorial comment: After two years of Covid disruptions, this is an awesome idea.)
Smile.
Be an ambassador of hope. (Editorial comment: This is one of my personal favorites.)

Hopefully you get Kelly’s point and will find a copy of the book, read it, and apply it to your daily life.

Civility, or Agreeing to Disagree — Is That Possible?

January 17, 2022/in Nuggets and Encouragement Regarding Strategy and Focus/by Tom Doescher

Tom Doescher

In Robert D. Putnam’s 2020 book, The Upswing, he compares the incivility (although he never uses that word) of today with that of over a century ago.

Putnam uses the labels of “individualism,” or an “I” society — which is a focus on yourself, your company, or your organization — and “community,” or a “We” society — which is a focus on others — to describe the two contrasting periods of time. He postulates (and he provides a lot of data to support his position) that today is similar to the late 1800s, in that many of us are dug in on our positions based on how events affect us personally. By contrast, he says that during the 1960s, many people were focused on the community and the greater good.

The following are a few nuggets from his book:

The United States in the 1870s, 1880s, and 1890s was startlingly similar to today. Inequality, political polarization, social dislocation, and cultural narcissism prevailed.
According to Putnam’s research and reporting, the situation improved over the years and peaked in the 1960s. He would label that period as community-oriented, versus the individualism of today and the late 1880s.
Public debates are characterized not by deliberating the merits — or lack thereof — when it comes to differing ideas, but by demonizing those on the opposing side.
A recent survey by the Pew Research Center revealed that Americans are “broadly pessimistic” about the future, with clear majorities predicting that the gap between the rich and the poor will widen.
In the 1960s, union membership peaked at 35 percent of all workers.
The Great Society initiatives, including the War on Poverty, Civil Rights, Voting Rights, Medicare/Medicaid — the very issues at the core of intense party polarization today — were supported by 74 percent pf congressional Democrats and 63 percent of congressional Republicans. Wow!

Who knows if Putnam’s premise is correct? But it sure seems that we’ve become an “every person for themselves” society.

I wasn’t intending to blog about Putnam’s book, but then I heard Shola Richards speak, and I followed up by reading his book, Go Together. Richards tackles incivility head-on. He defines civility as polite and respectful conduct and expression. Does that sound like what you observe on the nightly news and social media? How about while driving in rush hour traffic? To make the subject even more confusing, according to a recent poll cited by Richards, 94 percent of Americans believe they are always/usually polite and respectful to others. Seriously?

I won’t attempt to summarize Go Together, but I’ll share a few excerpts:

Empathy is the ability to understand another person’s perspective, or the ability to feel what another person feels, and that can change everything.
Remain curious and reserve judgment. Judgment is one of the quickest and most effective ways to shut down connection with others.
Nothing is acceptable about hurting another person.
Do you have the courage and mental fortitude to stay curious about people you really don’t like or respect?
Fear is the driving force behind every fight, war, form of abuse, and practically every atrocity this world has ever seen.
Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Richards has eight simple strategies to help teams or individuals function more effectively:

Address conflict quickly, maturely, and with appropriate transparency.
Be willing to step outside your role to further the success of the team. (For example, I saw a restaurant owner on his hands and knees cleaning under a table the other day. My thought was, “I could work for him.”)
Recognize and appreciate others’ contributions.
Be willing to act selflessly to assist others who are struggling.
Be positive and solutions-oriented.
Have a high level of self-accountability by choosing to own a problem, instead of choosing to blame others.
Be dedicated to ensuring the personal, professional, and psychological safety of others.
Consistently communicate in ways that are clear and respectful.

I’ll stop there.

Please join me in creating the next Civil Society Era. Think about the findings and advice of Putnam and Richards.

Then, make this pledge: I agree to treat people with whom I disagree just like I treat my best friend!

Are You a DIY Person, or Do You Get Help?

Tom Doescher

The Generosity Habit

Tom Doescher

Civility, or Agreeing to Disagree — Is That Possible?

Tom Doescher

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