As I advise clients with regard to their teams, we often end up talking about a particular team member’s emotional intelligence (EI), or lack thereof. You’ve probably experienced someone who is referred to by their colleagues as a “Bull in a China Shop”; and that’s who my clients frequently want to discuss. In looking through more than 200 blog posts, I discovered I’ve never written about EI. I still remember reading Daniel Goleman’s groundbreaking book, Emotional Intelligence, in 1995. Although the term emotional intelligence was introduced in the 1960s, it really gained popularity with Goleman’s book. My recollection is that it was truly a WOW idea, but Goleman didn’t provide any practical tools for utilizing the concept. Since then, several consulting firms have created practical, easy-to-use tools that business owners without a psychology degree can implement in their companies.

The book/tool I use with my clients is Emotional Intelligence 2.0, written by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. When you purchase the book, you receive one online assessment code. I suggest to my clients that they first take the assessment and then refer to the book, which is structured a lot like the owner’s manual for your vehicle.

There are four skills that make up emotional intelligence: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management. The assessment report provides a numerical score from 1 to 100, with a subjective evaluation for each of the four skills, and suggests what you should focus on.

Let’s assume your area for development is Social Awareness. You go to the “owners manual” (the book), and look up Social Awareness. It provides an executive summary of what that means, a list of strategies for improving your social awareness, and a brief write-up on each strategy. I’m currently working with a client who completed the assessment and shared the results with me. The assessment suggested development in one area, so we selected three strategics from the book and the client is now incorporating these suggestions into their daily life.

Let me give you an example from my own life. Over the years, I’ve received developmental feedback telling me that, at times, I can be very intense and direct with my communication style. If you’re my partner, Barbara, or Uncle Dan, you just tell me to “lighten up,” but others may be taken back or offended. So when I’m in a situation where my directness may manifest itself and I’m working with others who may not know me well, I try to be aware, attempt to tone down my natural tendency, and watch people’s reactions — and sometimes I need to apologize or explain my intensity. This strategy seems to be working.

If you’ve never taken an EI assessment, I would strongly recommend that you do. Then, if you have a team member who could use some help, it’s very powerful to share your assessment with them first, and then ask them to complete an assessment and share it with you.