The Coach's Corner

Archive for the ‘Sharpening Your Personal Leadership Skills’ Category

What is the Key to a Happier Life?

May 21st, 2018 // Tom Doescher // 0 Comments
Share

Tom Doescher - Doescher Advisors

Rhonda Byrne, in her book The Magic, claims the answer is gratitude. This reminded me of a conversation I had last spring with Dr. William Malarkey, who espoused the importance of gratitude in a healthy life. Byrne, a television and film producer, quotes many diverse sources to support her position, including Einstein, Isaac Newton, John F. Kennedy, the Holy Bible, the Quran, and Buddha.

It’s impossible to prove with absolute certainty that she’s right, but her advice is very practical, so I thought I would summarize her key points — and, of course, add a few editorial comments:

  1. Give to others, rather than taking (Byrne believes merely taking is a sign of ungratefulness).
  2. Say “thank you” often.
  3. Make lists of the things for which you’re grateful.
  4. At the end of each day, journal the best thing that happened to you. (Editorial comment: I’m going to incorporate this one into my daily routine.)
  5. For every complaint you have about another person, whether in thought or word, there have to be 10 blessings for the relationship to flourish. (Editorial comment: John Gottman says it’s five to one, but whether it is five or 10, I think you get the point about negativity.)
  6. When you’re grateful for your job, you will automatically give more to your work.
  7. The way to receive your dream job is by first being grateful for the job you have.
  8. Lucky breaks don’t happen by accident. (Editorial comment: Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.)
  9. Taking things for granted is a major cause of negativity.
  10. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
  11. There’s no room for harmful, negative thoughts when your mind is focused on looking for things to be grateful for.
  12. Everyone has received help, support, or guidance from others when we needed it most. (Editorial comment: Make your list and make sure you have thanked people for their help.)
  13. Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you’re the one who gets burned.
  14. There’s gold in every relationship, even the difficult ones. To bring riches to all your relationships, you have to find the gold.

Again, these are Byrne’s opinions, but I found the list to be very practical and applicable to my life.

I hope you find at least one suggestion that will enrich your life and relationships.

Do You Want to Turn Followers into Leaders?

March 5th, 2018 // Tom Doescher //
Share

Tom Doescher - Doescher Advisors

In Turn the Ship Around!, L. David Marquet, a retired Navy nuclear submarine captain, proposes using a leader-leader model rather than a leader-follower model in the workplace. If you know anything about the military, the power of his contrarian point of view is revolutionary.

Based on firsthand experience, having survived U.S. Army basic training at Fort Ord a few decades ago, it seemed to me that the Army’s goal was to get us to do whatever they told us to do, no matter how stupid or unreasonable it may have been. Some of the absurd things drill instructors said to us were laughable — although, for self-preservation, no one would dare laugh out loud. I recall coming home on leave for the first time and Barbara asking me, What’s the matter? The opinionated fellow she had married suddenly wasn’t able to make any decisions for himself. That’s when I realized that, in order to survive, I had put myself in a mental state where I just did whatever my superiors told me to do, no matter what I personally thought. As a result, I had become — and remained throughout my military career — a really GOOD follower.

In his book, this former captain is proposing something very foreign to the military. Marquet says leadership in the armed forces has historically been all about controlling people, but he goes on to admit that there’s a vast untapped human potential being lost under  the leader-follower model.

I know you’re trying to figure out the business application. Well, if you’re a regular reader, you know I’ve commented many times on the importance of listening to your team members, even when you don’t like their input, and creating an atmosphere where team members at all levels are encouraged to share their ideas. Marquet offers an interesting point of view that I believe applies to businesses as well as the military.

In addition to the above, Marquet provides some insight into the how the leader-follower model is only effective in the short run. He gives examples of submarines with effective leader-follower captains who failed under a new captain. In the past, I’ve addressed the importance of business succession; Marquet believes the leader-leader model is best for succession.

If you’re like many of us who prefer to control, I would suggest reading Turn the Ship Around! I’m certain you’ll be encouraged by Captain Marquet’s revolutionary ideas.

Buckingham’s 8 Questions

December 11th, 2017 // Tom Doescher //
Share

Tom Doescher - Doescher Advisors

Those of you who personally know me or have been reading my blogs are aware that I have highly recommended using the 12 questions found in the book  First, Break All the Rules, by Marcus Buckingham. This summer, I heard Buckingham speak, and discovered he has pared his 12 questions down to eight (fewer is always better).

During his presentation, he explained that some of the original 12 questions were focused on the company, while others pertained to the team member. He went on to say that the best employers encourage their team leaders to really understand their team members’ point of view.  In reviewing and reorganizing his original 12 questions, Buckingham classified half of the questions (four) as company-focused; the other half address the individual team member. Then, he paired up the questions and categorized them: Purpose, Excellence, Support, and Future.

View the Buckingham 8 Questions Chart.

As with the 12 questions, I would highly encourage leaders/supervisors to use the Buckingham 8 Questions as a tool for career planning sessions (annual reviews) and/or as a gut check to make sure you’re thinking about questions from your team members’ point of view.

Anger: A Secondary Emotion

November 13th, 2017 // Tom Doescher // 1 Comment
Share

Tom Doescher - Doescher Advisors

OK, I’m a little out of my field of expertise, but I believe I can speak as someone who has received some great professional counseling. Years ago when I was promoted to a new job that resulted in more responsibility, I noticed that I would become angry more often. I wasn’t the happy-go-lucky Tommy of the past, and there were times when my reaction was disproportionate to the situation/problem at hand. To be honest, I blew up.

Fortunately, before I caused too much damage and embarrassment, I received some really wise counsel:

Anger is usually your second emotion. For me, I discovered the primary issue behind my anger is often frustration. Here’s a link to a wonderful one-page write-up and a helpful chart.

I keep this chart in my daily journal and refer to it often. If you can relate to my story, I would recommend you do the same.

Once I understood what was going on, the counselor suggested that I deal with issues — usually people — along the way, to avoid escalation. Here’s an example: Say someone on your team has an annoying habit or practice that bothers you and the team. Too often, no one tells that team member how they’re feeling about the habit or practice until it becomes a monumental issue, at which point the team member becomes the target of an angry outburst. I learned — and am still refining — the practice of healthy confrontation, or speaking the truth in love.

Over the years, I’ve discovered that if I keep short accounts — in other words, deal with little things before they become big things — I avoid the atomic explosion.

How about you? Can you relate?

LifeMission: Do You Know Where You’re Going?

October 30th, 2017 // Tom Doescher //
Share

Tom Doescher - Doescher Advisors

Successful executives know where they’re going, stay focused, and have an uncanny ability to know when to say “NO.” They may not use these exact words, but they’re operating off a LifeMission. They’ve discovered there’s limited unscheduled time and know their current “Season of Life.” The following thoughts are meant to help you develop your own unique game plan.

 Step 1  What’s Your Destination?

Reflect on these rhetorical questions:

  1. How do you know you’re on the right road if you don’t know where you’re going?
  2. When you’re sitting in your rocking chair in the twilight of your life, what would you like to look back at?
  3. If you were writing your own eulogy, what would you like it to say?

Step 2 — Realize That Time is a Limited Resource

Many resources can be increased through hard work, good investing, inheritance, and even luck — but time is a finite resource. We all get 24 hours each day. Have you ever thought about how you spend your time? Download the Doescher Advisors “How I Spend My Time” tool, which will provide a simple way to reflect upon your time commitments (you don’t need to fill it out!).

Step 3 — What “Season of Life” are You In?

Reflect on the following questions:

  1. Are you still in school? Are you going back to school?
  2. Are you married? Do you have children? Are your children still minors? Do your children live with you? Are you a single parent? If so, what is your support system? Are you coaching sports teams or do you have some other commitment related to your children (i.e., PTA)?
  3. If you’re married with children, do both spouses work outside of the home?
  4. How demanding is your job? Is it 24/7? Does your work require travel outside of your home city?
  5. Are you involved in outside organizations (i.e., charities, service clubs, a neighborhood association)?
  6. Do you attend church? Do you have other commitments/responsibilities related to church? Do you belong to a social or athletic club? Are you involved on the board or on a committee? What other responsibilities, hobbies, or activities do you have? Do you travel recreationally?
  7. Do you have responsibilities for aging parents, adult children, or others?
  8. Do you have a regular exercise program and/or participate in golf, tennis, fishing, hunting, etc.?

In developing your LifeMission, you need to consider what’s important to you now — and realize that may change over the years.

LifeMission Summary

In a survey of 95-year-olds, Dr. Tony Campolo, a professor of sociology, asked them, “What would you do differently with your life if you could live it over?” Many responded: “We would reflect more, risk more, and invest in people more.”

With their advice in mind, begin the process of developing your LifeMission.

  • Think about “How I Spend My Time” and reflect upon your current “Season of Life.”
  • If you’ve ever used any assessment tools, consider and incorporate your identified strengths.
  • Brainstorm key words, thoughts, and themes.
  • Format isn’t important. We’ve evolved from words to a graphical representation of our LifeMission.
  • Like strategic planning, your LifeMission is an ongoing process.
  • Be accountable to someone.
  • Just do it!

The Advisor’s Corner

Tom DoescherYou’ll find stories from the trenches, business lessons, and pertinent questions to help you find inspiration, professional growth, and leadership savvy.

Subscribe

Categories

Archives